The strangest thing you've ever heard: Jam Gloves™ burn-in mystery

Dear esteemed clients,

Jam Gloves™ burn-in mystery: personal impressions from Louis Motek

You're in for the unexpected. Jam Gloves™ burn-in is unlike anything you have ever heard before. I myself almost 'crapped my pants' experiencing the strangest burn-in phenomenon ever. My mind swirled in disbelief as I struggled to get my head around the changes I am actually experiencing.

Here I'd like to try to condense this unexpected phenomenon into words. They don't entirely do it justice, but may serve as a sort of guide or warning, in order to help prepare you for the wild, novel experience that is to come. So, even though I have no idea if this can resonate with anyone who has never experienced it directly, here is my honest attempt at offering my personal impressions during final product evaluation.

Every time I added additional Jam Gloves™ to the system, I had the uncanny feeling of it burning in backwards. Now you may think that makes no sense, since the end goal of burn-in is always better results than at the beginning. So, surely, if I say it burns in backwards in time, you'd think 'it starts out excellent and burns in to sound ever poorer over time? What?!'

But that's not what I mean. It seems to burn in backwards, not in overall time, but in terms of the ADSR envelope of each note. ADSR stands for Attack, Decay, Sustain, Release. This terminology comes from music synthesizers, but is easily applied also to the envelope of any note played on any physical musical instrument. We can add the influence of the acoustic venue to the Release portion of the envelope to encompass all of the events which make up the recorded material.

First impression is of peering behind a veil and discovering without any doubt that there are new universes back there in the reverb tails. A mental fight ensues, between 'this is kinda gross' at the attack and initial decay level, and even on the sustain level, but at the same time you cannot honestly un-see the huge constellation of newly visible complexity of stars at the release portion, where the tails of all sounds are telling you more than ever about true content created by the musicians, and how this is even more revealed by how their initial input reacts with the sonic environment in which they are active.

So, in a strange way, peering into this tail end, we gain a lot of insight how each note had to have attacked, such as how the inner body of a cello resonates and how the reverb tail echoes the initial attack. But that attack is missing! So strange! But you keep marvelling at the depth of the tail ends, and so you keep listening.

Next day, there is already far more logic behind how the entire note meshes together, but still the attacks themselves don't seem to justify all the additional data discovered in the tails.

Third day, it's even better, always increasing in believability from end to start of each note, going backwards!

Fourth day, the mind stops playing reverse psychology.

Fifth day, and everything including the attacks become lusciously digestible. Complete logic from attack to tail's end now melds into complete believability.

By day 6, it is impossible to deny that the entire system's performance has skyrocketed. But you sit there in wonder how all of this started and progressed... backwards.

I don't know if this has to do with the fact that Jam Gloves™ don't pass electricity (since there are no metal parts). We are well versed in the normal burn-in procedure with regard to conductors. But this, this is a far different experience! Like I say, you're in for a real treat! Weird, fascinating, and jaw-dropping, are the only terms that keep coming to mind. It burns in backwards!

Will you join us at the launch party, driving the cost of our Early Bird launch of Jam Gloves™ down as far as possible?

If you have not already done so, please express your level of interest below.

😀 Yes, save my seat (1).

😀 Yes, save my seats (likely 2-3).

😀 Yes, save my seats (likely 4-10).

😀 Yes, save my table (likely 10+).

🧐 I'll watch from the doorway.

Thank you.